This is a piece about drug prices in America:
http://www.princeton.edu/~xlim/sethi.html
Anyway, Jasper has confirmed with me that Clarissa is the one. So I'll just pass that information on to anyone who's reading this blog. I don't think he means it in the way that they're planning to get married just yet, so no need to rush with the congratulations.
The other day, on the MRT going to see the cholesterol specialist (who's a great doctor by the way, explains stuff to me using biological/chemical/medical terminology, which is very helpful--about the different metabolic pathway and hydrophilic tendencies of Rosuvastatin (Crestor), which makes it a good drug for me, with my liver condition.), this lady was seated opposite me. By the way, I apologize for that probably practically incoherent and messy sentence I just made.
She had a nasty rash, her skin looked horrible, the skin on her legs was cracked and scarred, and she was scratching at her face, neck, and legs the whole time. I hope she sees a doctor, but something tells me she might not.
This is an interesting line that ends this article:
[ http://www.princeton.edu/~xlim/shimp.html ]
"Until there is a president who deserves eight years in office, let Princetonians do their part to limit the losers to four."
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Thursday, October 28, 2004
dead by forty
Saw the cholesterol specialist today, and I'll be starting my medication right away. He estimates that with my current levels of LDL and HDL, it's probable that I'll get my first heart attack before I turn 40, if I don't go on medication. That would totally suck.
The Practice is cool, all these crazy legal technicalities... makes you feel like just throwing out law and make lawyers break privilege if they know anything incriminating about their clients. Recently there was this episode when this pregnant woman, her baby due very soon, on trial for murdering her husband. Her story was that her husband was abusive and almost killed her baby (her pregnancy had just begun at that time), and so she took a gun and shot him to defend the baby.
There were Roe vs. Wade strands weaving through it, the issue being whether the baby could be considered a human life or whatever you want to call it, whether she was justified in defending her baby and killing a full-grown man. The neighbor testified to the husband being abusive and stuff like that, that he heard them quarrelling quite often, that kind of thing. In the end the lawyers won using the argument that a foetus is not a "life" only in the office of a doctor performing an abortion.
The jury ruled not guilty, but just before the verdict, she was in contractions, and was rushed to the hospital. So her lawyers went to the hospital to bring her the good news, and... Ok, she is white, her husband was white, the neighbor is black, and the baby is black. Yesterday was the last episode. I think Boston Public is still showing, I think it's on Star World (cable). Not sure what time, maybe 8+ or so on a weekday.
Anyway, about my cholesterol, the doctor thinks I'm probably heterozygous with a gene that causes high cholesterol, and if I were homozygous I would probably have a heart attack in my teens. So if I pass on my genes, there's like a 25% chance that my kid is heterozygous like me, assuming of course that I pass on my genes in the traditional manner, and that my lovey doesn't have this condition.
Did an "apt-get upgrade" of my Debian distro last night. Should be able to configure to use a new kernel tonight. Probably taking the easy way out for my first try at least, using Debian packages and 'apt-get install kernel-source-2.6.7'. Just thinking of what to say. I think Jasper wanted me to say something, but I'm confused. He either decided that Clarissa is "the one", or it might have been the other way round, that he's decided that Flame Tree is "the one".
The nurses were very friendly to me today. When I arrived, I showed by 11-B (that's my NS IC, for those who don't know) and checked that the SAF would pick up the tab. Didn't have to pay today. Later, one nurse noticed the doggie on my bag, and asked if I brought that bag to NS. I said yah, that I work at MINDEF, so I actually don't even need to wear uniform. I think she said she got a doggie soft toy or something for her son, who's about 1/2 a year into his NS, and he didn't want to bring it with him.
Then she inquired about stuff like where I did uni, that kind of thing, I told them that I disrupted, that kind of thing, teaching scholarship, teach for 5 years, etc. Another nurse said she's worried that after her son finish NS he won't want to study anymore, though now he still say he wants to go uni.
The Practice is cool, all these crazy legal technicalities... makes you feel like just throwing out law and make lawyers break privilege if they know anything incriminating about their clients. Recently there was this episode when this pregnant woman, her baby due very soon, on trial for murdering her husband. Her story was that her husband was abusive and almost killed her baby (her pregnancy had just begun at that time), and so she took a gun and shot him to defend the baby.
There were Roe vs. Wade strands weaving through it, the issue being whether the baby could be considered a human life or whatever you want to call it, whether she was justified in defending her baby and killing a full-grown man. The neighbor testified to the husband being abusive and stuff like that, that he heard them quarrelling quite often, that kind of thing. In the end the lawyers won using the argument that a foetus is not a "life" only in the office of a doctor performing an abortion.
The jury ruled not guilty, but just before the verdict, she was in contractions, and was rushed to the hospital. So her lawyers went to the hospital to bring her the good news, and... Ok, she is white, her husband was white, the neighbor is black, and the baby is black. Yesterday was the last episode. I think Boston Public is still showing, I think it's on Star World (cable). Not sure what time, maybe 8+ or so on a weekday.
Anyway, about my cholesterol, the doctor thinks I'm probably heterozygous with a gene that causes high cholesterol, and if I were homozygous I would probably have a heart attack in my teens. So if I pass on my genes, there's like a 25% chance that my kid is heterozygous like me, assuming of course that I pass on my genes in the traditional manner, and that my lovey doesn't have this condition.
Did an "apt-get upgrade" of my Debian distro last night. Should be able to configure to use a new kernel tonight. Probably taking the easy way out for my first try at least, using Debian packages and 'apt-get install kernel-source-2.6.7'. Just thinking of what to say. I think Jasper wanted me to say something, but I'm confused. He either decided that Clarissa is "the one", or it might have been the other way round, that he's decided that Flame Tree is "the one".
The nurses were very friendly to me today. When I arrived, I showed by 11-B (that's my NS IC, for those who don't know) and checked that the SAF would pick up the tab. Didn't have to pay today. Later, one nurse noticed the doggie on my bag, and asked if I brought that bag to NS. I said yah, that I work at MINDEF, so I actually don't even need to wear uniform. I think she said she got a doggie soft toy or something for her son, who's about 1/2 a year into his NS, and he didn't want to bring it with him.
Then she inquired about stuff like where I did uni, that kind of thing, I told them that I disrupted, that kind of thing, teaching scholarship, teach for 5 years, etc. Another nurse said she's worried that after her son finish NS he won't want to study anymore, though now he still say he wants to go uni.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Saturday, October 23, 2004
gz booked out!
gz: got hives lah.
Anyway, it was a far cry from an auditorium filled with eager medical students. Well, nothing wrong with delusions of grandeur. What it came down to was that each of us specimens were sent to a consultation room, and it was for a group of 6 doctors (refresher training perhaps?). They were just being shown various dermatological diseases, though in my room, unfortunately, try as I might, they didn't quite get their value-for-money. Today was just not a day for my hives, seems like I'm getting better! They essentially did a no-show (peeked out a little in a tiny patch, but clearly stage-frightened).
I was paid $25 for my troubles. Going to Seletar again tomorrow. Going to try to upgrade my kernel now. I miss my lovey a whole lot. A whole loot. Poot poot.
Anyway, it was a far cry from an auditorium filled with eager medical students. Well, nothing wrong with delusions of grandeur. What it came down to was that each of us specimens were sent to a consultation room, and it was for a group of 6 doctors (refresher training perhaps?). They were just being shown various dermatological diseases, though in my room, unfortunately, try as I might, they didn't quite get their value-for-money. Today was just not a day for my hives, seems like I'm getting better! They essentially did a no-show (peeked out a little in a tiny patch, but clearly stage-frightened).
I was paid $25 for my troubles. Going to Seletar again tomorrow. Going to try to upgrade my kernel now. I miss my lovey a whole lot. A whole loot. Poot poot.
Friday, October 22, 2004
programming
It was raining when I got home. Was with Jasper just now. Was so tired. I made him tired too. Lost inhibitions and talked loudly and laughed more. I was sleeping intermittently on the bus. Next to me was this Indian couple, and it seems they were quarrelling quite bitterly. I kinda slept through it, but I think most of the other people on the bus noticed their quarrel. Jasper said the guy sounded quite fierce, he almost wanted to ask the woman if she wanted to report to police or something.
Anyway, Jasper reminds me that I left the water heater issue hanging. The next day my dad got a new water heater and it's been installed for quite some time already. It's so nice to sleep now because it's raining.
My boss's boss is quite satisfied with my work, and asked for a few more features. My boss is very happy with the work I've done, and am doing. On that thought, I leave you, dear reader. I hope that when I'm done with the current project I get to do something as interesting...
Anyway, Jasper reminds me that I left the water heater issue hanging. The next day my dad got a new water heater and it's been installed for quite some time already. It's so nice to sleep now because it's raining.
My boss's boss is quite satisfied with my work, and asked for a few more features. My boss is very happy with the work I've done, and am doing. On that thought, I leave you, dear reader. I hope that when I'm done with the current project I get to do something as interesting...
specimen
Went to Tan Tock Seng Hospital and National Skin Center yesterday; this is the year that medical students my age are doing their hospital attachments and all. So I was being seen by the skin specialist and in the room were two medical students, both from RJ (I see their face before but don't really know them).
Anyway, the main thing I wanted to announce is that there's some conference or presentation or something this Saturday, and I'm invited. I'm invited sort of like a keynote speaker, but my mouth won't really be doing the speaking, my hives will. They were desperately looking for someone with hives so the medical students can see a live specimen, so I agreed, in the name of science. I guess I could also meet the medical students I know: actually saw Chunrong entering the Skin Center just as I was leaving, so I told him about it, and will probably be seeing him on Saturday.
Anyway, the main thing I wanted to announce is that there's some conference or presentation or something this Saturday, and I'm invited. I'm invited sort of like a keynote speaker, but my mouth won't really be doing the speaking, my hives will. They were desperately looking for someone with hives so the medical students can see a live specimen, so I agreed, in the name of science. I guess I could also meet the medical students I know: actually saw Chunrong entering the Skin Center just as I was leaving, so I told him about it, and will probably be seeing him on Saturday.
Monday, October 18, 2004
baby on board
It's raining outside. Spent the whole day sleeping after I got back from the doctor. Took MC today, didn't feel up to a day of work. Down with a cough and cold. As an NSF, I'm supposed to get full medical benefits: show 11-B at government clinic and SAF will pay for me. But was told at the polyclinic that somehow my card was not valid. I called some SAF number and after a few transfers, they said my medical benefits not yet activated, need to get my boss to contact their boss, but their boss on leave... Bottom line is that until this all gets sorted out, I'll have to pay first and claim later, which is always a risky proposition, but I guess I have no choice.
On the subject of cars, I think hybrids are the way to go. Theoretically (and naively) they offer an up-to 100% increase in mileage. The basic principle is that when braking, normal cars use the frictional force from applying brake pads to the wheels to slow down and stop. All the kinetic energy the car had is lost to friction, and this amount of energy is roughly how much it took to get the car up to that speed initially.
In a hybrid, the battery is charged up using the energy otherwise lost when braking. It works like a dynamo or a windmill, generating energy from the moving wheels. Of course, one could charge the battery while the car is accelerating, but that makes little sense unless the battery is close to dead, because this would slow the car down. The battery is less powerful than gas-power, but it is more efficient at low speeds, and it can supplement the gas-power when the driver needs more acceleration.
According to
http://www.hybridcars.com/faq.html
"Toyota has announced plans to offer hybrid versions of all their high-volume cars by 2007", which is great news.
Bush and Kerry are losers for not being brave and honorable enough to invite Nader into their debates. I'm sure any of them could have said anything and got him into the debates. Just too scared to look worse than him. Acting in their self-interest: Bush would look stupid compared to anybody, and Kerry probably knows Nader is a brilliant thinker and activist. None of them cares to offer the American public a chance to know about this other option they have in voting, and is content with pushing their plan even if there might be a better one.
I think abortion is certainly a form of murder when the baby has developed past a certain level, though I would expect that this level is hardly well-defined and can be quite different for different people. The law currently defines this level to be when the baby is completely past the cervix, which in most cases is aligned with the point in time when the baby can breathe and feed by herself. (Of course, a baby might be born prematurely and require intensive care, etc.)
As such, abortion should be allowed only in cases where there's say threat to the woman's life. Though I wouldn't go all the way and ban the "abortion" of a fertilized egg, I think. This would mean that abortion won't be allowed even for rape victims, but I think a "morning after" pill is morally acceptable. I guess the perspective of the "pro-choice" camp is mostly that the woman has a right to "control" her body and what happens to it. In the way she can decide to amputate her legs if she wishes, or cut her hair, or inject all sorts of hormones into her body.
I guess that means someone should have the right to kill herself. With regard to suicide, I think someone who attempts suicide shouldn't go to jail, but I'm guessing the "illegality" of suicide means there will perhaps be some kind of compulsory treatment or therapy, which I support.
Perhaps I might say that ideally we could get round this moral problem by a technological advance: find a cheap, sustainable method of bringing babies to term outside of a body. Because the current state of affairs means either the baby dies or the baby has to live in the womb, possibly against the will of the mother. Ultimately, the womb is the main source of inequality between the sexes, when you look at the workplace, because having a baby has quite an impact on lifestyle and mobility, for several weeks at least. I mean before the baby is born, that is; after the baby is born, the inequality is largely societally created.
Even still, it's just several weeks, maybe a month or two, for each pregnancy... It should be quite negligible when companies give parental leave (of several months), and that is taken into account. Equal rights for men and women!!
It seems Bush will win, because the polls say he's up by 8%. Oh well.
My laptop hasn't been too happy lately. But it's certainly happier with linux than with Windows. It's back to work tomorrow. I'm feeling better. Still not ready to jump around, but well. Bush seems to be going to win anyway. All's right with democracy. I wonder if he'll be assasinated by some crazed liberal. But that might mean that his vice president becomes president, which could be worse...
I'm going to bring a box of tissues to office. I should probably sleep soon. My M1 mobile plan has also been changed to a free incoming call plan. It should be in effect already. Everyone should know why this is much needed.
On the subject of cars, I think hybrids are the way to go. Theoretically (and naively) they offer an up-to 100% increase in mileage. The basic principle is that when braking, normal cars use the frictional force from applying brake pads to the wheels to slow down and stop. All the kinetic energy the car had is lost to friction, and this amount of energy is roughly how much it took to get the car up to that speed initially.
In a hybrid, the battery is charged up using the energy otherwise lost when braking. It works like a dynamo or a windmill, generating energy from the moving wheels. Of course, one could charge the battery while the car is accelerating, but that makes little sense unless the battery is close to dead, because this would slow the car down. The battery is less powerful than gas-power, but it is more efficient at low speeds, and it can supplement the gas-power when the driver needs more acceleration.
According to
http://www.hybridcars.com/faq.html
"Toyota has announced plans to offer hybrid versions of all their high-volume cars by 2007", which is great news.
Bush and Kerry are losers for not being brave and honorable enough to invite Nader into their debates. I'm sure any of them could have said anything and got him into the debates. Just too scared to look worse than him. Acting in their self-interest: Bush would look stupid compared to anybody, and Kerry probably knows Nader is a brilliant thinker and activist. None of them cares to offer the American public a chance to know about this other option they have in voting, and is content with pushing their plan even if there might be a better one.
I think abortion is certainly a form of murder when the baby has developed past a certain level, though I would expect that this level is hardly well-defined and can be quite different for different people. The law currently defines this level to be when the baby is completely past the cervix, which in most cases is aligned with the point in time when the baby can breathe and feed by herself. (Of course, a baby might be born prematurely and require intensive care, etc.)
As such, abortion should be allowed only in cases where there's say threat to the woman's life. Though I wouldn't go all the way and ban the "abortion" of a fertilized egg, I think. This would mean that abortion won't be allowed even for rape victims, but I think a "morning after" pill is morally acceptable. I guess the perspective of the "pro-choice" camp is mostly that the woman has a right to "control" her body and what happens to it. In the way she can decide to amputate her legs if she wishes, or cut her hair, or inject all sorts of hormones into her body.
I guess that means someone should have the right to kill herself. With regard to suicide, I think someone who attempts suicide shouldn't go to jail, but I'm guessing the "illegality" of suicide means there will perhaps be some kind of compulsory treatment or therapy, which I support.
Perhaps I might say that ideally we could get round this moral problem by a technological advance: find a cheap, sustainable method of bringing babies to term outside of a body. Because the current state of affairs means either the baby dies or the baby has to live in the womb, possibly against the will of the mother. Ultimately, the womb is the main source of inequality between the sexes, when you look at the workplace, because having a baby has quite an impact on lifestyle and mobility, for several weeks at least. I mean before the baby is born, that is; after the baby is born, the inequality is largely societally created.
Even still, it's just several weeks, maybe a month or two, for each pregnancy... It should be quite negligible when companies give parental leave (of several months), and that is taken into account. Equal rights for men and women!!
It seems Bush will win, because the polls say he's up by 8%. Oh well.
My laptop hasn't been too happy lately. But it's certainly happier with linux than with Windows. It's back to work tomorrow. I'm feeling better. Still not ready to jump around, but well. Bush seems to be going to win anyway. All's right with democracy. I wonder if he'll be assasinated by some crazed liberal. But that might mean that his vice president becomes president, which could be worse...
I'm going to bring a box of tissues to office. I should probably sleep soon. My M1 mobile plan has also been changed to a free incoming call plan. It should be in effect already. Everyone should know why this is much needed.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
hives
dammit, my medication runs out and the hives are back in full force. and i've caught a cold/cough from a guy at the office. he was ill on wednesday and on thursday 2 others got MC and one of them had 2 days MC. so i've been feeling ill for 3 days now.
the other day saw a spider (the kind with the very thin, spindly legs, that looks so frail and wispy) wrap up an insect (the "flying ant" insect, whatever it's called) and carry it off. it did this while perched in front of the speakers attached to my computer.
it seems my parents are considering getting a new car. as in, a new old car possibly. i hope they get the Prius, and one can certainly always hope. then again, we might not get a new car.
the other day saw a spider (the kind with the very thin, spindly legs, that looks so frail and wispy) wrap up an insect (the "flying ant" insect, whatever it's called) and carry it off. it did this while perched in front of the speakers attached to my computer.
it seems my parents are considering getting a new car. as in, a new old car possibly. i hope they get the Prius, and one can certainly always hope. then again, we might not get a new car.
Monday, October 11, 2004
sounds of nature
So anyway, the heater in my bathroom broke down, so it leaked and was dripping the whole night. So, for one night, the semi-annoying semi-soothing sound of water falling and hitting the ground. A waterfall, a fountain, a defunct heater tank.
"Rant against pants". Without pockets. Just thought of that phrase today while waiting for the bus, I think.
This other day I was watching TV (but I watch TV a lot nowadays anyway), and it was a fascinating show on the animal kingdom. Dogs hunting in packs, compared with wolves hunting in packs, and versus hyenas hunting in packs. Each got their own styles and targets and strategies dependent on their level of socialization and their physical abilities.
Wolves are powerful and fierce and would kill each other, so that's why they have an alpha-male alpha-female system so that everyone accepts the hierarchy and there aren't excessive fights amongst each other. There's only one wolf eating the carcass at one time. Contrast this with dogs, I think, which have no problems sharing.
Then a school of fish, fleeing from being eaten, swimming together in choreographed motions, swinging in one direction and then abruptedly in another arc, the light shimmering off their aligned bodies and confusing the predator(s). The thing is that both prey and predator are generally weaker when split from others. A strategy of many predators is to chase in such a way that eventually the weakest member of the prey pack breaks away and is thus subsequently quite screwed.
Then got this animal so cute one, the one in Ice Age the cartoon movie I think, was it called a mere cat or something? The group has a sentry on rotation, and then the squirrels also "subscribe" to this lookout service, getting warnings of danger for free.
And the tiny monkeys are so cute, they have so much fun, swinging from vines and stuff, and they got a word for snake also, and another one for eagle, so when they make sound all of them know whether to lookout for snake on the ground or take cover to hide from eagle overhead.
Anyway, it's amazing the organized behavior of groups of animals. The fishy reflex and rhythm must be built into their muscles for them to do synchronized swimming. Practice makes perfect, and I guess there's nothing like knowing you'll be eaten that gets you going.
Been really busy, coding in Visual Basic for Applications (the MS Office version of VB), but what I'm supposed to do is quite involved, so the plan now is to just copy. No more macros, just worksheet functions, a working template of which has already been developed by other departments. So I just need to fiddle and faddle a bit with it to modify it for our needs.
Boston Public, a show about a public school, is so touching. Stuff about students, teaching, that kind of thing, school being understaffed, students eager to learn but shortchanged by the system that wants to see "results", young men and women challenging themselves to do more than others think possible...
There was this suggestion in the show to make all schools private, funded by skimming 1% of all future salary of all alumni of the school. A social security type "tax". Definitely sounds like a good idea because if it's left to the government they'd sooner create another nuclear bomb than set aside more funds for education.
So, lots of people are actually working in MINDEF. Daniel Huei, Adrian Foo, and still more others I don't know the names of (but I recognize their faces lah). I should probably go sleep soon; need to get a lot done tomorrow with Excel... hopefully it's not too much work, and it shouldn't be, since I can mostly copy and paste spreadsheets.
"Rant against pants". Without pockets. Just thought of that phrase today while waiting for the bus, I think.
This other day I was watching TV (but I watch TV a lot nowadays anyway), and it was a fascinating show on the animal kingdom. Dogs hunting in packs, compared with wolves hunting in packs, and versus hyenas hunting in packs. Each got their own styles and targets and strategies dependent on their level of socialization and their physical abilities.
Wolves are powerful and fierce and would kill each other, so that's why they have an alpha-male alpha-female system so that everyone accepts the hierarchy and there aren't excessive fights amongst each other. There's only one wolf eating the carcass at one time. Contrast this with dogs, I think, which have no problems sharing.
Then a school of fish, fleeing from being eaten, swimming together in choreographed motions, swinging in one direction and then abruptedly in another arc, the light shimmering off their aligned bodies and confusing the predator(s). The thing is that both prey and predator are generally weaker when split from others. A strategy of many predators is to chase in such a way that eventually the weakest member of the prey pack breaks away and is thus subsequently quite screwed.
Then got this animal so cute one, the one in Ice Age the cartoon movie I think, was it called a mere cat or something? The group has a sentry on rotation, and then the squirrels also "subscribe" to this lookout service, getting warnings of danger for free.
And the tiny monkeys are so cute, they have so much fun, swinging from vines and stuff, and they got a word for snake also, and another one for eagle, so when they make sound all of them know whether to lookout for snake on the ground or take cover to hide from eagle overhead.
Anyway, it's amazing the organized behavior of groups of animals. The fishy reflex and rhythm must be built into their muscles for them to do synchronized swimming. Practice makes perfect, and I guess there's nothing like knowing you'll be eaten that gets you going.
Been really busy, coding in Visual Basic for Applications (the MS Office version of VB), but what I'm supposed to do is quite involved, so the plan now is to just copy. No more macros, just worksheet functions, a working template of which has already been developed by other departments. So I just need to fiddle and faddle a bit with it to modify it for our needs.
Boston Public, a show about a public school, is so touching. Stuff about students, teaching, that kind of thing, school being understaffed, students eager to learn but shortchanged by the system that wants to see "results", young men and women challenging themselves to do more than others think possible...
There was this suggestion in the show to make all schools private, funded by skimming 1% of all future salary of all alumni of the school. A social security type "tax". Definitely sounds like a good idea because if it's left to the government they'd sooner create another nuclear bomb than set aside more funds for education.
So, lots of people are actually working in MINDEF. Daniel Huei, Adrian Foo, and still more others I don't know the names of (but I recognize their faces lah). I should probably go sleep soon; need to get a lot done tomorrow with Excel... hopefully it's not too much work, and it shouldn't be, since I can mostly copy and paste spreadsheets.
runaway train
heard this song on Class 95. love it. (by Soul Asylum)
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep; there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
And everything seems cut and dried,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep; there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
And everything seems cut and dried,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same
Thursday, October 07, 2004
disarray
My parents note that there are a lot of cockroaches in the house. They described how one time I think the drain got clogged and some guy came to open the tiny drain cover and there were thousands of cockroaches in there.
I was trying to figure out how to make a function return an array, and after a quick search on the internet just now I found my answer. Basically, just define the function as a variant, and then variant can store array. I had used a clumsy workaround of defining a module-level (dynamic) array and letting the function "output" using it.
I was trying to figure out how to make a function return an array, and after a quick search on the internet just now I found my answer. Basically, just define the function as a variant, and then variant can store array. I had used a clumsy workaround of defining a module-level (dynamic) array and letting the function "output" using it.
Monday, October 04, 2004
the good and the bad
Watched Friends on TV, really hilarious. The episode where there's this oldish male stripper and Joey's a celebrity on The Pyramid Game and there's this high school reunion or something for the rest of them.
The Swan is a terrible show. It's about putting women through ridiculous things like plastic surgery and diets and I don't want to know what else, so that they have a chance to be models. It's ugly and disgusting, and so, so wrong.
There was an ad on TV, by the Health Promotion Board and the Institute of Mental Health, about depression. It's good stuff. It gives an overview of what depression is like, that it might be triggered by stress, possibly from losing a job or perhaps relationship difficulties. It also says that depression can be cured through counselling and medication, that it's a treatable condition.
Also, the other day the guys at lunch also talked about ninja turtles, that someone bought a set for another colleague's kids, but it was this angel/mortal thing so he was tricked and actually the person he was supposed to give the ninja turtles to didn't have kids, so that was awkward.
So anyway at work I'm having fun modifying and writing these macros for Excel, but I have this feeling that Microsoft Access might be better suited for the tasks at hand. But if it works, why change, right? It would probably be simpler for me to just stick to Excel, because afterall the basic macros have already been written and tested.
At Tan Tock Seng Hospital, there's what is known as private rate versus subsidised rates. The way these work is that you get private rate if you self-refer, and you usually get an appointment to see the doctor much earlier. If you go see polyclinic doctor and then get a referral to see a specialist at the hospital, you'll get the subsidised rate (no matter how filthy rich you are), just that you might have to wait something like 3 or 4 months before your appointment.
The thing is that I got an earlier appointment when I came back to Singapore (if I had waited, I would probably still be waiting to go back to CMPB now...), which was private rate, and now it seems there's no way to switch to the subsidised rate. Well, there is a way, but for that way they assess your assets. So even though I earn peanuts as an NSF, they consider my parents' income and so I'm ineligible for the subsidised rates. So basically I have to move out and start my own family before they stop considering my parents' income in the calculation.
The other way is for the doctor to discharge me and for me to see him again later after getting a referral from the polyclinic. The referral I already had from the polyclinic is null and void because I was already seeing the specialist at the private rate. The moral of the story is that one move could cost your whole life.
Is every cell in my body that has my DNA considered a human being?
The Swan is a terrible show. It's about putting women through ridiculous things like plastic surgery and diets and I don't want to know what else, so that they have a chance to be models. It's ugly and disgusting, and so, so wrong.
There was an ad on TV, by the Health Promotion Board and the Institute of Mental Health, about depression. It's good stuff. It gives an overview of what depression is like, that it might be triggered by stress, possibly from losing a job or perhaps relationship difficulties. It also says that depression can be cured through counselling and medication, that it's a treatable condition.
Also, the other day the guys at lunch also talked about ninja turtles, that someone bought a set for another colleague's kids, but it was this angel/mortal thing so he was tricked and actually the person he was supposed to give the ninja turtles to didn't have kids, so that was awkward.
So anyway at work I'm having fun modifying and writing these macros for Excel, but I have this feeling that Microsoft Access might be better suited for the tasks at hand. But if it works, why change, right? It would probably be simpler for me to just stick to Excel, because afterall the basic macros have already been written and tested.
At Tan Tock Seng Hospital, there's what is known as private rate versus subsidised rates. The way these work is that you get private rate if you self-refer, and you usually get an appointment to see the doctor much earlier. If you go see polyclinic doctor and then get a referral to see a specialist at the hospital, you'll get the subsidised rate (no matter how filthy rich you are), just that you might have to wait something like 3 or 4 months before your appointment.
The thing is that I got an earlier appointment when I came back to Singapore (if I had waited, I would probably still be waiting to go back to CMPB now...), which was private rate, and now it seems there's no way to switch to the subsidised rate. Well, there is a way, but for that way they assess your assets. So even though I earn peanuts as an NSF, they consider my parents' income and so I'm ineligible for the subsidised rates. So basically I have to move out and start my own family before they stop considering my parents' income in the calculation.
The other way is for the doctor to discharge me and for me to see him again later after getting a referral from the polyclinic. The referral I already had from the polyclinic is null and void because I was already seeing the specialist at the private rate. The moral of the story is that one move could cost your whole life.
Is every cell in my body that has my DNA considered a human being?
Sunday, October 03, 2004
is anybody out there?
Because MINDEF is at Bukit Batok, I've taken the North Line of the MRT recently, meaning go from Yio Chu Kang to Khatib and Yishun, etc. On the way back one day, I had an aerial view of the Nuovo condominiums near Yio Chu Kang MRT, and they've got a whole lot of water bodies! Pools here there and everywhere...
I've installed the Flash plugin for my Mozilla browser on Debian. Quite a simple procedure. Haven't installed audio plugin yet, though. One thing I want to figure out soon is how to minimize all open windows. No time this weekend to do kernel building...
I think my maid is going back to Phillipines for a holiday soon, but the thing is that my mom bought the ticket for a date that my maid told her, and now my maid wants to change the date but apparently Phillipines Airlines doesn't allow one to change dates, so have to buy a totally new ticket if really want to fly on another day.
Do you look at the needle go into your arm when you get an injection? Would you look at the needle if you were going to get a lethal injection?
Anyway, I didn't go with Aaron to the club today, was too tired, slept the whole day practically. Wonder if he still went with Say Yang, or perhaps even with Pei Ling.
I've installed the Flash plugin for my Mozilla browser on Debian. Quite a simple procedure. Haven't installed audio plugin yet, though. One thing I want to figure out soon is how to minimize all open windows. No time this weekend to do kernel building...
I think my maid is going back to Phillipines for a holiday soon, but the thing is that my mom bought the ticket for a date that my maid told her, and now my maid wants to change the date but apparently Phillipines Airlines doesn't allow one to change dates, so have to buy a totally new ticket if really want to fly on another day.
Do you look at the needle go into your arm when you get an injection? Would you look at the needle if you were going to get a lethal injection?
Anyway, I didn't go with Aaron to the club today, was too tired, slept the whole day practically. Wonder if he still went with Say Yang, or perhaps even with Pei Ling.
luck has nothing to do with it
A few days ago, I failed again to kill the cockroach. Had a good chance, but blew it. Threw the slipper at it but it was at where the floor meets the wall at an edge, so the slipper landed at roughly 45 degrees to both the floor and wall so the cockroach was unharmed, and without ado scurried beneath the stove.
Forgot to mention that the branch went bowling yesterday, as part of "work". Was really lucky, because I got a 140. Got a 1 on the first throw after at least 4 years, and got a 0 on the next (the ball went to the exact same spot where the pin I knocked down was) for a grand total of 1 for the first frame. My boss got 141. Broke my thumbnail pretty bad though, luckily they had nail clippers at the counter.
Met Jasper just now, and we watched a show, and he says this is his all-time favorite. It's getting somewhat suspicious that every show he watches gets better and better. It was a Korean show with English subtitles, The Cool Guy, some soppy love story cum tragedy and comedy, but not a tragicomedy. I realize a good formula for an emotional twist to a movie is for there to be 3 friends or brothers, and for some traumatic event to happen to one of them, that person might even die and then the other 2 friends drift away, maybe one of them angry at the other for the death.
Tonight is poker night at my house, my dad's friends are over. I'm sleepy and tired, but it's good.
In a flash of coincidence, on Thursday I think, over lunch the guys at work were talking about executions, and what would be the best way to be killed, other than lethal injection, because that's probably the best. Someone said hanging, I think, which might really not be so bad. Actually, decapitation might be quite painless, but I think the real problem with that is the thought that one's body is no longer whole, that the head is separated from the body. And then you think gruesome thoughts of blood and someone holding up your head by the hair. An intact corpse doesn't elicit the same gut reaction.
Maybe we should listen to our head, not our guts. But I guess in this case the head doesn't want to go either. They added a twist in the knife, so the speak, replacing the firing squad with an amateur shooter standing far away so he probably won't hit a clean shot, etc.
Food for thought, eh? Going with Aaron to the club tomorrow. Jasper's not going, not sure if Say Yang will be there. I need to get enough sleep this weekend. But, as put eloquently in this review of Debian,
I'm looking forward to a new whole week of coding.
Forgot to mention that the branch went bowling yesterday, as part of "work". Was really lucky, because I got a 140. Got a 1 on the first throw after at least 4 years, and got a 0 on the next (the ball went to the exact same spot where the pin I knocked down was) for a grand total of 1 for the first frame. My boss got 141. Broke my thumbnail pretty bad though, luckily they had nail clippers at the counter.
Met Jasper just now, and we watched a show, and he says this is his all-time favorite. It's getting somewhat suspicious that every show he watches gets better and better. It was a Korean show with English subtitles, The Cool Guy, some soppy love story cum tragedy and comedy, but not a tragicomedy. I realize a good formula for an emotional twist to a movie is for there to be 3 friends or brothers, and for some traumatic event to happen to one of them, that person might even die and then the other 2 friends drift away, maybe one of them angry at the other for the death.
Tonight is poker night at my house, my dad's friends are over. I'm sleepy and tired, but it's good.
In a flash of coincidence, on Thursday I think, over lunch the guys at work were talking about executions, and what would be the best way to be killed, other than lethal injection, because that's probably the best. Someone said hanging, I think, which might really not be so bad. Actually, decapitation might be quite painless, but I think the real problem with that is the thought that one's body is no longer whole, that the head is separated from the body. And then you think gruesome thoughts of blood and someone holding up your head by the hair. An intact corpse doesn't elicit the same gut reaction.
Maybe we should listen to our head, not our guts. But I guess in this case the head doesn't want to go either. They added a twist in the knife, so the speak, replacing the firing squad with an amateur shooter standing far away so he probably won't hit a clean shot, etc.
Food for thought, eh? Going with Aaron to the club tomorrow. Jasper's not going, not sure if Say Yang will be there. I need to get enough sleep this weekend. But, as put eloquently in this review of Debian,
As any experienced hacker will tell you, sleep is no substitute for caffeine.
I'm looking forward to a new whole week of coding.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Beauty != Health
(note: != means not equals; in Visual Basic, <> means not equals.)
Check this out:
Parking Spots
http://dubster.com/cars/
In response to Gambitch's comment about my previous post, I have to say he's right, that the computer can't be connected to the internet. The only internet-enabled computers are laptops, which run on wireless.
Furthermore, the computer I'm working on is riddled with viruses, so it probably won't even be put on the intranet unless that is dealt with. I tried resizing the partition non-destructively like I did with this computer at home, but somehow it failed, so I gave up.
But I'm a happy man. The computer is hooked up to two LCD flatscreens, so that's a lot of desktop real estate for me to roll about in. My job is quite a programmer's wet dream, because I get to code all day long. I get to code all day long at home if I want, but firstly I don't get paid for that (even though my NS allowance is tiny, but it's still something), and secondly I don't fulfill my NS liability.
I've picked up Visual Basic for Microsoft Excel from scratch. Good thing the main program has already been coded (this was done in 1999/2000), and I think my job is to modify the code to add critical new features. Along the way I've identified various areas where I can improve useability and robustness.
There's nothing like having a job to make me work. No deadlines have been set for me yet, but definitely soon. Got a project to do this weekend also. My aunty, who's a school principal, asked me to do some writeup on the situation of Special Schools in Singapore. This issue has also recently come up in the news, along with the new Prime Minister, who talked about making Singapore more inclusive and "caring".
Weekend Today Newspaper has a front-page story on the "Rising Prices and the Defiant Young Smoker", basically describing the trend where a lot of youngsters are picking up the habit, and that increased taxes doesn't really do much. It just means they cut back on other stuff, like perhaps lunch, and they move towards cheaper brands.
But the thing that bugs me is that the Health Promotion Board is reportedly having such campaigns (quoted from Today Newspaper, Oct 2-3 2004, page 3):
This, even though according to the article, "Health Minister Khaw Boon Wan said in Parliament recently that a study had indicated that young women smoke because of 'peer pressure, to relief stress, control their weight and improve their social image'".
Health is health, and I'm afraid society's idea of beauty for women is so warped that the intersection with health is tenuous. "Beauty" businesses invariably send out the signal to women that they are too fat, and that they have fat in all the "wrong places". And they have advertisements showing actresses endorsing how their program made them slim again and fit for TV after having their baby.
The stress relieving effect of nicotine, coupled with the weight-loss effects of smoking, is a powerful formula attracting women to smoking. Everywhere you go, on billboards, in newspapers, you see advertisements and TV shows with women having perfectly flat tummies, and I can certainly imagine that women want to be like these women, because men like these women, and they diet, and maybe their friends tell them they can do more than diet, they can smoke, that will help them lose weight too.
I think health, both physical and mental, is the main force opposing the dieting and smoking trends. I don't think beauty businesses serve any social purposes at all. They sacrifice the well-being of many women to enrich their pockets. Beauty businesses are only good at pointing out that everyone is fat, or perhaps not fat, just fat in the wrong areas, focussing everyone on appearances and stressing how important it is that you look good, focussing on the superficial and the shallow. The mainstream fashion industry is no better, every so often parading skinny models down the catwalk in ridiculous and ridiculously expensive cloth.
Honestly, it's so terribly out of date. Content matters so much more than appearances. Websites with Flash and not much else suck. Plain html with great content are great sites. Clothing should be evolving into practicality: all pants should have pockets, as a start, and then maybe some lightweight electronics can be integrated, and I expect the day is near when our environment becomes so harsh that clothing has to be protective against UV rays, pollution, and cosmic and surface radiation.
Check this out:
Parking Spots
http://dubster.com/cars/
In response to Gambitch's comment about my previous post, I have to say he's right, that the computer can't be connected to the internet. The only internet-enabled computers are laptops, which run on wireless.
Furthermore, the computer I'm working on is riddled with viruses, so it probably won't even be put on the intranet unless that is dealt with. I tried resizing the partition non-destructively like I did with this computer at home, but somehow it failed, so I gave up.
But I'm a happy man. The computer is hooked up to two LCD flatscreens, so that's a lot of desktop real estate for me to roll about in. My job is quite a programmer's wet dream, because I get to code all day long. I get to code all day long at home if I want, but firstly I don't get paid for that (even though my NS allowance is tiny, but it's still something), and secondly I don't fulfill my NS liability.
I've picked up Visual Basic for Microsoft Excel from scratch. Good thing the main program has already been coded (this was done in 1999/2000), and I think my job is to modify the code to add critical new features. Along the way I've identified various areas where I can improve useability and robustness.
There's nothing like having a job to make me work. No deadlines have been set for me yet, but definitely soon. Got a project to do this weekend also. My aunty, who's a school principal, asked me to do some writeup on the situation of Special Schools in Singapore. This issue has also recently come up in the news, along with the new Prime Minister, who talked about making Singapore more inclusive and "caring".
Weekend Today Newspaper has a front-page story on the "Rising Prices and the Defiant Young Smoker", basically describing the trend where a lot of youngsters are picking up the habit, and that increased taxes doesn't really do much. It just means they cut back on other stuff, like perhaps lunch, and they move towards cheaper brands.
But the thing that bugs me is that the Health Promotion Board is reportedly having such campaigns (quoted from Today Newspaper, Oct 2-3 2004, page 3):
- Smoking robs women of their looks, their health and their baby - press advertisements will contain this message
- Beauty, fashion and wellness businesses - the HPB will join forces with them to increase its outreach
This, even though according to the article, "Health Minister Khaw Boon Wan said in Parliament recently that a study had indicated that young women smoke because of 'peer pressure, to relief stress, control their weight and improve their social image'".
Health is health, and I'm afraid society's idea of beauty for women is so warped that the intersection with health is tenuous. "Beauty" businesses invariably send out the signal to women that they are too fat, and that they have fat in all the "wrong places". And they have advertisements showing actresses endorsing how their program made them slim again and fit for TV after having their baby.
The stress relieving effect of nicotine, coupled with the weight-loss effects of smoking, is a powerful formula attracting women to smoking. Everywhere you go, on billboards, in newspapers, you see advertisements and TV shows with women having perfectly flat tummies, and I can certainly imagine that women want to be like these women, because men like these women, and they diet, and maybe their friends tell them they can do more than diet, they can smoke, that will help them lose weight too.
I think health, both physical and mental, is the main force opposing the dieting and smoking trends. I don't think beauty businesses serve any social purposes at all. They sacrifice the well-being of many women to enrich their pockets. Beauty businesses are only good at pointing out that everyone is fat, or perhaps not fat, just fat in the wrong areas, focussing everyone on appearances and stressing how important it is that you look good, focussing on the superficial and the shallow. The mainstream fashion industry is no better, every so often parading skinny models down the catwalk in ridiculous and ridiculously expensive cloth.
Honestly, it's so terribly out of date. Content matters so much more than appearances. Websites with Flash and not much else suck. Plain html with great content are great sites. Clothing should be evolving into practicality: all pants should have pockets, as a start, and then maybe some lightweight electronics can be integrated, and I expect the day is near when our environment becomes so harsh that clothing has to be protective against UV rays, pollution, and cosmic and surface radiation.
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