Sunday, February 20, 2005

existential frustration

I'm so fucking irritated. For some reason the "civil service" medical benefits I'm supposed to get from being an NSF have not materialized. I need to figure out again how to activate it or pay my Tan Tock Seng bills myself.

The weather is terrible. It's so hot, and add to that the haze. I feel sick. My nose is running, and when I blew my nose it bled, and my parents told me not to blow so hard. Then after that my aunty said don't sneeze. Like, what the hell?

And this morning my parents were bugging me to get a haircut at the barber. I think I'm going to cut off all my hair tonight so everyone can stop bugging me about my hair. It really bugs me. My dad said my hair like this when strangers see they might think something wrong with me. But the point is that I don't care! I walked the streets barefoot a few years ago, and practically everyone looked at me like I was nuts, but I don't care!

I feel so crappy because of my nose. Feel like whacking someone. And last night on ICQ Boon Tat said today he's free, can meet me in afternoon, that he would call me, and he didn't! In fact, when I called him he said he was busy today and didn't even remember that he was supposed to call me.

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